End of 2008

I'm sorry I was so maudlin yesterday but I get that way at the end of the year. Sorry, Ellen! I'm still hopeful for the coming year. I do always feel a bit wistful for what I didn't accomplish but I'm ready for new challenges. And I'm sure at least some of them will come in my new classes! But I have a breather of 3 weeks.
Party happening tonight! Looking forward to seeing my friends and getting to bring in the new year with them. And yes, Ellen, I really do wish you could be here. But I'm excited I get to see you in February.
My last blog of 2008! Happy New Year!

Last work day until

2009. Yikes, I can't believe it's almost 2009. I say it every year but the older I get the years seem to fly by. Tomorrow is my annual New Year's party. Last year we didn't have it due to construction, but the Kirkley's did and it was great. I hope it goes well this year. Looking forward to seeing my friends and welcoming in the new year. A time of fresh starts. Maybe that's what it is the older you get. Every year we want fresh starts by January 1st. We swear we will get everything done that we didn't last year, or the year before, or the year before that...maybe once you get older you think that things won't change and you will be saying the same things every year and it will never happen. But somehow as we say good-bye to the old year and usher in the new year, I am always filled with hope.

I'm dreaming of a B

in grammar. The grades were posted and I got that B! I have never worked so hard for a B in my life!!!!! A- in both my other classes but all I can think about is that B. Who knew that a B could make me feel so good?
Merry Christmas. Only 4 weeks until the next semester.

good news

I got my grammar final back in the mail-great news! I passed the final with a decent grade. I may even get a "B" when they post grades. I'm so happy-it's the best news for me. Good, great and best-all descriptions about passing grammar. That was such a stressful class for me. It was like learning a new language. I did not get to master it, but I did pass! Grades tomorrow.

It's all over except for

grades. They are supposed to be posted tomorrow. My heart beats too fast every time I think of what grade I will get in grammar. I am hoping for the "C", words I have never uttered before. I just have to have passed grammar-the thought of a do-over in grammar...well, too awful to contemplate. I dreamt about grammar and all my mistakes on the final for four nights. It sneaks into my thoughts during the days...can't seem to stop thinking about grammar. I suspect my heart will race when the grades are finally posted.
I think I did ok on other finals-both hard in different ways than grammar.
But now the holidays are near and I'm not done shopping. In fact I've finally started thinking about Christmas and what to get for my family besides the usual stocking stuffers. Hard to believe it's only 3 days away. I better get on it.

choked

on grammar final, but at least it is over. I've been reviewing all day playing over and over in my mind how I could have done better. I'm not sure why I choked but I did. I knew most of the material but when the final was in front of me all I could see were words that made no sense. I don't know where all that knowledge I gained went. After reviewing for the day I am now going to let it go. Not a whole lot of studying to do for myth-just getting up at the crack 'o dawn and I'll be furiously writing by 7:15! Help!!!

Finals week

is here. I've been studying for grammar all day. I have butterflies just thinking about tomorrow's final. This and that, sentence types, relative clauses, infinitives, appositives, nominals, present and past participles and the dreaded gerund-I keep forgetting what it is...breathe, breather, chant: I will be fine. I will!
And once that is over I can look back at my mythology notes-it's very hard to study for essays when you don't know the questions! Same for ethnic lit. Oh boy!!! Here I go!

This and that...

according to grammar. Apparently there are 3 kids of "that"-a that which is relative, a that which is demonstrative and a that which is nominal. And all of these thats are part of clauses which are comprised of a subject and verb! Whoa! Will I really understand all of this and that by the final? My brain is on overdrive.
And the weekend was so busy. The kid was in his first play and even had a "fake" make-out-scene-it was almost too much for me to bear. I nearly fell out of my seat. The boy is growing up. He had the time of his life. I'd get him to practice and then I'd rush home to work on my big paper for myth. I just finished it-poured my heart and soul into it...Orpheus, Orpheus...but school isn't over quite yet. There is still the last novel to read in ethnic Lit...and another paper to write. And then the 3 finals...Of course the one I have concerns about is grammar. I've come too far to fail it-that would just kill me (I think that that is demonstrative!) Maybe there is hope for me. I have visions of this and that all through my head-wait it must be Santa Clause. Now I'm channeling Patrick. Time for bed.

Happy Halloween!

Halloween and I still had a quiz-the first Arthurian quiz. Oh the names!!! Actually I think I did pretty well. We did have to write an essay on the symbolism of the Holy Grail or the Sankgreal as it's referred to in our book Le Morte D'Arthur. Those wild knights! Who knew that Sir Lancelot was Sir Galahad's father? At any rate it all very interesting, if difficult.
Tonight the kid is dressed as Slash from Guns 'n Roses. I asked him if anyone would recognize him and he assured me they would-they all play Guitar Hero! At last a reason to like Guitar Hero-the kids get exposed to classic rock! Enjoy the photo of my rocker.
Happy Halloween!

I thought I'd be happy if

I got at least a 79 on grammar. I have really lowered my expectations and was surprisingly happy with my 70! Of course I wanted to do better but I'm so glad I passed-the average was 66. The test was so hard-I made some silly mistakes but all in all I'm ok. It's funny that I was upset by the 79 and now I'm ok with the 70.
Catching up on my Arthur reading-slow going in middle english-I have to decipher it and then read it. Plan on spending lots of time this weekend working on my paper for myth.
Going to the mall tonight with 2 teenagers. They just want to hang out and me to disappear. At the mall I'm perfectly happy to let them go-who needs them when I can shop:)

OMG! I can't believe it!

I was so task-oriented today during the midterm. I was so focused. So what happened? The word bears. Easy enough to put in the past tense-just stick an -ed on it. Beared. Looks funny-wow! why did she pick such weird word? Did I think to write out the word-no! Why oh why couldn't I remember how to conjugate the verb bear? To bear , I bear you bear she bears, the past tense I bore, I had borne- of course!! I guess I focused a little bit too much. That makes me so mad-I should leave the mistakes to the ones I don't know. But maybe it's just a lesson for me not to correct those folks who insist on saying brang as the past tense of brought!
Onto better news: B+ on the ethnic lit midterm-thought it was a total bomb-now I hope I did as well on the paper. Maybe I'll find out by Wednesday.
Great weekend at the Poor House Bistro. All the bands playing-it was a rocking afternoon! I am so exhausted now but have my lovely Tuesday to look forward to: tennis!

I am as prepared

as I can be. Many index cards and dare I say it? I think I understand the tenses and the sentence types...well, maybe. I am ready for tomorrow. I'm taking Melissa's advice-the only letter grade I should shoot for is the one with B. A.
Now if I could only get some sleep-maybe I should think about these letters zzzzzzzzz's and it will come.

studying for 2nd midterm in

grammar, of course. The words are in my head all the time. I hear peoples speech-I listen in a different way. I'm learning so much and all I can hope for is to pass. In the 3 weeks since my last grammar midterm, in which I was so unhappy to get my 79, I have had a change of heart. My new goal is to not do worse than a 79! I felt prepared last time and not so much this time. I've had hardly and time or the will to study. Before I decided to update I studied. This time I am writing out flash cards for the structure class words, clauses, prepositions, sentence types, transitive/intransitive words-these 3 chapters make phonemes, morphemes and past participles look easy! what I would do to find the past participle {-en} form now...sigh!
Well I got a B + on my myth midterm. She is very kind considering how weak my writing was on the midterm, but I'll take it-I was so happy with that grade-I was a former A student, but man it it so hard now with the 49-year old brain. I love it though-I love all this learning-not so much the tests, though.
Did I mention that we are reading "Le Morte D'Arthur" by Malory in middle english? I had to freak out my son last night by reading out loud-it helped me to get it. It's not that hard to understand, it is just slooooow...
I need to get my paper and midterm back in ethnic american lit so I can stop wondering how badly I did.
The kid is at his first school dance tonight. Brings back memories of Marc Franco at my dance in 7th grade. I believe the only reason he asked me is that we were both short. Nic did not take anyone to the dance-went with some friends. I hope he has a great time. With Patrick away, this is my time to have uninterupted study time for grammar-uh, oh, back to the flash cards.

Once again, grammar is

just a bunch of words. We are learning sentences structure right now-identifying Types I, II, III, IV, and V. It is very tricky and I am not getting it. The midterm is a week from tomorrow...yikes! Hopefully I will understand it better. I will go in early on Monday-it is getting to be the norm for me to visit prof an hour before I start school.
As for midterms-let's just say it is great to be done with last week. After the paper-which was no good, came the midterm-it was awful and then the myth midterm-oh my! Why did I choose to say that the fertility gods were different than the other Olympians? At any rate I'm stuck with my feeble argument. Came home, worked and then passes out for 90 minutes in order to recharge for comedy Friday night. Unfortunately, while napping, I dreamed about Dionysus and all the great arguments I had for him being different-the I woke up and realized what I should have written, but sadly, did not. Oh well...
The improv group 3 For All was great! It was a nice way to come down from midterm week.
Worked on Saturday. Went to my first-ever Halloween bridal shower. Did not know anyone except the bride. Met a wonderful woman-we share the same birthday and were born in the same hospital. So bizarre to meet someone in SJ. I had a great time talking to Irene. She even told me that she got her BS at 53! Looks like we're on the same track-must be the Oct. 6th birthday!
Must go back to grammar...

the midterm was

awful. The first part was fairly easy but the full on essay part was truly awful. 40 minutes to write a cohesive essay on two texts-it just wasn't enough time. I barely had an intro and my conclusion was weak and in between-let's just say it wasn't my finest writing moment. The good news is that it's over.
Onto grammar. We had a good class today-clarified some points.
It's the mythology midterm I feel nervous about. But instead of worrying for tonight I will call it a night and try to get some good sleep-it's eluded me for days.
Good night!

The first paper is in

the professor's hands now. It's not a great paper-I simply didn't have it in me even though I loved the book. Oh, well...at this point it is about putting in the time to get my long-desired degree. It feels so far away...
At any rate good news about grammar. After spending hours slogging through the MVP's (Main Verb Phrases) I think I've got it. Oh, and after sitting with the brilliant professor for 45 minutes. She makes grammar so interesting. I can now break down the MVP into past, present, future, modal (or not) the {-en} form and the {-ing} form for the structure class words. A lot of words about words but I think I've got it-at least until Wednesday. The next midterm is looming close. At least the ethnic lit will be done and mythology will be over so I can concentrate on the grammar. As for the lit midterm-well it seemed fairly easy until she shattered our illusions with the reality of a very scary midterm! 8 poems (Aztec and Inuit) 1 non-fiction article and 3 novels-it seems unnecessarily hard, but oh well...at least the essay part is open book.
Mythology is so interesting but the midterm seems scary as well, but it too is open book and open notes. Hard to think that what I say about the Ancient Greeks will shed some new light on the Odyssey or the Trojan War.
Hopefully I will sleep tonight. Tomorrow I play tennis-I love Tuesdays! Maybe I can get my aggression out on the tennis court-slay my opponents...

The fall of

Troy-wow! what a story. Quiz tomorrow and so many names to remember: Agamemnon, Paris, Achilles, Hector, Clytemnestra, Helen, the Trojan Horse -what a cast of characters. I'd only vaguely heard some of these names-now I know the story (sort of) Hopefully I will remember who is who-or who is whom? must do a grammar check!
Ugh! The thought of grammar and all the prepositions, verb particles, adjectivals, adverbials, coordinating or subordinating conjunctions...was I just asleep in grammar through out my school years? At the moment I feel as if I can't find a subject or object in a sentence-it's just too much. Or maybe...I can buy and old School of Rock and listen to the conjunction junction and find out the function...

The midterm was ok and I did

just that-wow! a 79-what a shock. Made a few silly mistakes-I didn't think raced through it, but I need to slooow down...all around me the kids got 90's and above-in fact 88 was the average, so it wasn't mu finest hour. I've moped since yesterday, but tomorrow I go back in and face down those subordinating conjunctions and determiners-I will get it!!!!
As for the paper, let's just say I have no choice but to have it done by this weekend. Right now it's crap but I have a bit of time. In the meantime I have to study for the last quiz in mythology on the Trojan War and the fall of Troy- then next week midterm and onto Arthur.
My brain is fried!

worked hard all day and

still only about 1/2 way through the research paper. I wanted a fully done rough draft but it just wasn't possible. For some reason on this paper I keep thinking about switching topics but at 715 words now-no way am I changing. It must be that there is so much symbolism in Native-American culture that it's been hard to choose and then focus-every thought I have leads me to another. Oh well. That's why I'm done for the night and going to take a bath and watch "Desperate Housewives" the equivalent of a yummy beach book. After all I worked hard today -Melissa and I were at the library. Grammar homework almost done-not due till Wednesday, so I'm ahead in something.
Then tomorrow morning I will wake up and be 49! Had a great weekend for the most part. Here's to looking ahead!

One night in the city and now it's

back to the grind of school. I thought if I updated my blog it would be easier to get in the groove of my research paper. Anything to get the words flowing. Spent the night in SF-saw "Spring Awakening"-what a talented bunch of kids in this musical with intense themes-wow! And we had great seats but it was weird-there was this AWFUL smell emanating from someone. It was so bizarre-the woman in front of me said "it was like being in a barnyard". It really was unbelievable-good thing we all had our playbills to use as fans-there truly was a stench. At any rate just being away and see theater was fun. I slept all night (for once) and really let school slide away...but now I'm back...sigh!
Oh, well on to research...

The first midterm is

over. It was not bad at all. I'm sure I even found the tricky past participle. I was so excited that I felt like screaming "I got it!" But, I didn't because that would have been too weird. Anyway the test was ok. It's been a long time since I've taken a test that wasn't subjective-so at least when I get some wrong answers I can possibly get partial credit, just like math!
Looking ahead-I have a paper due in less than 2 weeks and 2 more midterms to follow and then another one in Grammar at the end of the month. It is exciting having my brain stretched by these classes. This is the 6th week of school and we are almost done with our 3rd novel in Ethnic American Lit and we are almost done with the Greeks in Mythology. Soon, we'll be on to the Arthurian Legends-which I know NOTHING about. I've heard of Lancelot, Guinevere and the Knights of the Round Table and that is all I know, so it should be interesting. I just hope I can take it all in.
The kid was honored tonight for good grades-I hope I can keep up with him!

Totally in the midst of

school. I think about it all the time. It's because I'm taking grammar that I'm really hearing what people say. Or, I see a word and think-wow! that's a past participle. The next time I take French should be easier since now I actually know what a past participle is. It feels like I am learning a whole new language and I am enjoying it, but do feel that unless I will be writing a dictionary (which will never happen-although my dictionary is close by me at all times) why do I need to learn the International Phonetic Alphabet? That said, mythology is great an Ethnic American Lit is good. the class itself is not engaging but the literature itself is. Between participles, Zeus and ethnic lit, my head is spinning all the time and hopefully I am warding off Alzheimers. I've spent so much time studying grammar that I haven't started my paper for lit, much less come up with a concrete topic.
After school I still have my life to figure out. When to fit in work, time to cook dinner, pick up from school and get Nic to all his activities. He signed up for his first play, is in the band and in a rock band. His life is pretty busy too. Then Patrick travels quite a bit so we get to miss him and hope he doesn't miss too many of Nic's special activities. It's pretty great that he hasn't missed much.
The kid went to his first dance party last night-said he danced for 4 hours! He has his first school dance next month-he should feel more comfortable.
Well, back to work. And then maybe the library, looking through notes, coming up with a topic. And then Wednesday-my first midterm in grammar! Yikes!!!!

And it's Friday again

and I'm still wondering exactly why I'm going back to school. I guess it's only been 2 weeks so I'm still questioning. Maybe it's because I am writing out flashcards to remember all the names in mythology(ouch!) and then I asked my 12 year old son if I could borrow his Percy Jackson and the Olympians novels. "Sure," he said, "They are so great and you will understand who everyone is-it all makes sense." Wow! Now, if I could just fit that first book in it might be helpful. At least I have study group on Sunday. Fitting in work has been difficult-maybe that's why I feel so cranky, tired and lazy-I didn't work too hard this summer.
I sent out an essay to a contest-3 months to wait until I find out if it's won. Still waiting to hear about another essay to the CSM-only 3 more weeks to go for that. And then I got a new book in the mail (what, another book?) about how to write treatments. Yikes-and here I am updating my blog, not reading for class, writing notes, trying to figure out grammar or working on the screenplay treatment.
I think I better sign out...

Ah! Friday!

I always look forward to Fridays. But after having the summer off from school it was a shock to hop on Light Rail and head to my Mythology class. I was looking forward to meeting up with 2 people from my study group in the Writing Workshop-John and Danielle, but only John was there. It was great to reconnect and feel part of the university. I admire my professor very much-I have a lot to learn about mythology. No waiting-we jumped right in and went over 3 translations of an Egyptian poem and 2 translations of a poem by Sappho-we went right into our "close reading". It felt so good that I knew what that meant, but still everyone seemed to know MORE! Oh, well I'm ready to learn. The class was fascinating and except for the paper I have to do, I'm fine-yeah, I have a presentation-YIKES!! I will be confronting my phobia of public speaking.
After school it was mom-as-usual. Target, picking up school supplies, picking up kids from school.
But then I get the weekend to myself. Yep, Patrick and Nic go away for the weekend and I get to play. Dinner with the ladies Saturday night, maybe a play on Sunday and hanging with my mom on Monday-Whoo hoo!!!
And I guess after this weekend I'll be cracking down with "The Known World", phonics and phonemes and the Greek and Roman myths!!!

The First Day Back2School

Wow! My head is spinning from my 2 classes today. Ethnic American Lit will hard, but it seems like a great class-interesting readings, interesting students, interesting professor.
Grammar! Oh boy! It is so hard, but Prof. Stork is great and she made us all laugh. But then we dissected how similar cot and caught were and I was lost. Language evolves over time and apparently those 2 words are now pronounced the same, but not to me-there were 4 of us that made the words separate and distinct. It will be a challenging class, but if she was able to teach me how to explicate a poem and do a close reading of texts, anything is possible!
Looks like I'm the oldest student in both classes-we'll see how mythology shakes out on Friday. A few students from last semester are in both of my classes-nice for me to feel as if I belong. I do love the college environment.
I have a lot of reading to do, as predicted my free reading time is over-I'm not quite ready. Over the next few weeks I'll get back into the studying/no time groove.

The Last Day

before school. Wow-the next 16 weeks will be a challenge-I know that and I haven't even started the semester yet. I am looking forward to the challenge. Getting my school supplies in order for tomorrow and helping my son get his supplies organized too. He starts on Tuesday, but I have no Tuesday classes so I get to be ALONE on Tuesday and I have a great day planned: tennis at 9 (haven't played for a year) Working for a couple of hours and then lunch with my fellow back2schooler Melissa (she's not back yet-quarter system). I haven't seen her all summer. It is amazing how the summer goes so quickly. At any rate I may be looking forward to Tuesday a bit more than Monday.
My schedule tomorrow: first up: Ethnic American Lit and then Grammar (called Modern English) with my last semester's fabulous professor. Hard to believe I'm going back, but before I know it it will be Christmas-however before then I'll be reading and writing quite a bit.
In the meantime, I'm going to savor these last few hours by myself...

Two days left

to call my own. Without homework, essays due, mid-terms, finals. This is exactly why the young should go to college, but hey...
Well at least I got rid of my gray roots -it's bad enough being older at college, but can't LOOK old.
Today was a wonderful day-got to spend it with my friend Ken at his house. A bunch of friends were there to celebrate Scott's 50th birthday-what a great bunch of people. And my son had a great time in the pool, making videos on the mac and playing air hockey. A truly restful day-there won't be too many more of them in the next 16 weeks.
Am I crazy? No, I have my eye on the prize.

Four days left

to try to remember exactly why I am going to try to finish my undergraduate degree at my age. Well, I'm 48 now and will certainly be in my 50's when I receive my degree. At this point I can hope it is my early 50's...

1. I graduated high school at 16 and should have gone right away, but I was just too young
2. I went back to college at 32 and received my AA-I thought I would go back as soon as my son slept through the night
3. 4 years went by until he slept through the night and by then my husband was in the Master's program-2 of us can't be in school at the same time (I thought)
4. Too much time-I'm just too old.
5. I'll still be old, but without a degree.
6. I'm too scared to go to the university.
7. I want that damn degree no matter what!

Aha! So that's why I'm going back to school even at my advanced age. I guess I'll be a junior for a while, but that's ok. At the end of it I will have my degree. Better late than never for me.

5 days of freedom left

to choose what I want to read. Starting Monday, the next 16 weeks will be dedicated to working on my grammar, learning different myths and reading 7 novels for ethnic American literature. Oh, yes and a reader specially designed for our class. I have a few more novels at my bedside that I'll be burning through in these last few days.
I keep reading the syllabus for my english 169 class-it will be a challenge for sure, but hopefully I will enjoy those 7 novels. And my son is very excited about my mythology class-he had Greek and Roman mythology last semester of 6th grade-he thinks I'm cool. And since he's 12, my coolness factor is fleeting...I'm just not too cool anymore. But that's cool because he's growing up and just about anything I do is a bit embarassing, but hey I'm sure that's how I felt too.
We just sorted out our school supplies-he's chose the green binder and I chose the black one. We divvied up the pens, pencils, binder paper...I never thought I'd be doing this with my now 7th grader but it's sort of fun. And maybe, just maybe I am looking forward to the first day of school...

less than 2 weeks

So what was I thinking? Back 2 school at the age of 48? I thought well, I'm going to be 48 anyway, why not finally get my degree? A junior at 48 and of course I'll be a junior longer than a year because I can't go full time. I can't even believe I did 2 big classes last semester. I am not as nervous as I was about going back 2 school, but I am scared ( a bit) of taking 3 classes-I am especially concerned about Ethnic American Lit. Because I read the syllabus...it sounds great, but scary. In the meantime I am trying to get a treatment written before school starts. At least I'm in it with Jeanie-we may have a shot at getting this screenplay picked up...just maybe...random thoughts. Why am I going back 2 school? I just don't know.

The First Five Weeks

I can't even believe I have gone through five whole weeks of school. My life has changed considerably. I wanted to go back and was so excited but boy those first few weeks have tested me. First, I became a commuter by driving to the train station, hopping on the train and walking several blocks to campus and then to class. I hadn't factored in the weather: miserable, cold, windy and no cover on the platform. Oh, well I'd get used to it.